Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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