I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Watching her eat just hurts me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
