Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
