i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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