yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
