So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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