i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
