And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
