HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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