and you said cock pushups were impossible
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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