i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
soo... how was my night?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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