just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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