I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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