i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Couch. On fire.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
is it fun? or sober?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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