Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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