I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's never too late to be topless.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
