Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
