I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
