You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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