How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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