I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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