I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
