i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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