naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Too much gin, very little bucket
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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