it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
