I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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