She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
