I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
tell me about the eggs
Randomize