this beer tastes like vomit already
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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