my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
