I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
