We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
