he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
