So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
