I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
