Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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