it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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