Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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