Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
