I hate all girls vehemently.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
