I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
