then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
