I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
