her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You've changed since you got that strap on
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
