Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
