Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
