I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
