you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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