they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she told me i tasted like america
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
