Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
