How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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