No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize