thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
