I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
