This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't deserve a penis
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize