I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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