Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
