Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
