My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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