we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I touched a dick in church today
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize