But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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