I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize