don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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